一、英语幽默故事精选

1、George comes from school on the first of September.

George, how did you like your new teacher? asked his mother.

I didn’t like her, Mother, because she said that three and three were six and then she said that two and four were six too…..

9月1日， 乔治放学回到家里。

乔治，你喜欢你们的新老师吗? 妈妈问。

妈妈，我不喜欢，因为她说3加3得6, 可后来又说2加4也得6。

2、Two guys were walking through the jungle. All of a sudden, a tiger appears from a distance, running towards them. One of the guys takes out a pair of “Nikes” from his bag and starts to put them on. The other guy with a surprised look and exclaims, “Do you think you will run faster than the tiger with those?” His friend replies: “I don’t have to out run it, I just have to run faster than you.”

两个男人正在穿过丛林，突然，一只老虎出现在远处，向他们冲来。 其中的一个人从包里拿出一双“耐克”鞋，开始穿上。另一个人惊奇地看着他说，“你以为穿上这个就可以跑得过老虎吗?” 他的朋友回答道：“我不用跑得过它，我只要跑得比你快就行了。”

3、Things were really getting worse after the war. Life became so difficult that a lot of people lived in want(在贫困中).

A newspaper had published an advertisement for a man in want of tires: “Owner of a truck would like to correspond with a widow who owns two tires. Object: matrimony(结婚). Send picture of tires.”

战后情况真是越来越糟了。生活变得非常艰难，缺少东西的人很多。

有一家报纸曾给一个需要轮胎的人登过一个这样的广告：“一部货车的车主愿意和一位备有两个轮胎的寡妇通信。目的：成婚。 要把轮胎的照片寄过来。”

二、英语幽默故事推荐

1、A therapist, a priest and an economist go golfing. The group ahead of them is extremely slow, leading to some frustration among the three. Their complaints are overheard, and a man from the group ahead walks over to them. He introduces himself as an aide because the group of golfers he is with is blind! The aide thanks the three in appreciation for their patience for the blind golfers. The priest goes, “Oh no, all my life I’ve preached for all to be better to my fellow man and here I am complaining about the blind!” The therapist says, “I’ve been trained my whole life to help others and here I am complaining about the blind, shame on me!” The economist says, “Oh no! They should be playing at night.”

神父、心理学家和经济学家三人结伴打高尔夫。前面的一组打球进度极其缓慢，这让三人大为恼火。他们开始抱怨，前面那组中的一人听到抱怨声后朝他们走了过来。他 自我介绍 说是前面那组球手们的助手，因为那组球手都是盲人。助手感谢他们三位耐心等待。神父听后忙说：“哦，不会吧?我一辈子都在祈祷同胞们过上更美好的生活，而我却在这里抱怨这些盲人!”心理学家也赶紧说：“我一生的信条是帮助别人，可是我却在这里抱怨这些盲人，我真惭愧!”这时只听经济学家说：“哦，别这样!他们本该在晚上打球的。”

2、Friend for Dinner “Honey,” said the husband to his wife, “I invited a friend home for supper.” “What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, I haven’t been shopping, all the dishes are dirty, and I don’t feel like cooking a fancy meal!” “I know all that.” “Then why did you invite a friend for supper?” “Because the poor fool’s thinking about getting married.”

“亲爱的，”丈夫对妻子说：“我邀请了一位朋友回家吃晚饭。” “什么?你疯了吗?我们的房子乱糟糟的，我很久没有买过东西回来了，所有的碗碟都是脏的，还有，我可不想做一餐累死人的晚饭。”“这些我全都知道。” “那你为什么还要邀请朋友回来吃晚饭?” “因为那个可怜的笨蛋正考虑要结婚呢。”

3、It’s a right. John is looking at the sky.

Tom is John’s younger brother. He asks John “What are you doing?”

John says, “I’m counting stars.”

Tom laughs and says, “It’s really dark now. Why not count them tomorrow morning?”

这是一个晚上。约翰抬头看着天空。

汤姆是约翰的弟弟。他问约翰：“你在干什么?”

约翰说：“我在数星星。”

汤姆笑着说：“现在天空太黑了。你为什么不等到明天早上再数呢?