一、英语搞笑故事精选

1、hree competing store owners rented adjoining shops in a mall. Observers waited for mayhem to ensue.

The retailer on the right put up huge signs saying, “Gigantic Sale!” and “Super Bargains!”

The store on the left raised bigger signs proclaiming, “Prices Slashed!” and “Fantastic Discounts!”

The owner in the middle then prepared a large sign that simply stated, “ENTRANCE”.

三个互相争生意的商店老板在一条商业街上租用了毗邻的店铺。旁观者等着瞧好戏。

右边的零售商挂起了巨大的招牌，上书：“大减价!”“特便宜!”

左边的商店挂出了更大的招牌，声称：“大砍价!”“大折扣!”

中间的商人随后准备了一个大招牌，上面只简单地写着：“入口处”。

2、“All the kids make fun of me”the boy cried to his mother.“They say I have a big head”
“Don’t listen to them.”his mother comforted him.“You have a beautiful head .Now stop crying and go to the store for ten pounds of potatoes”
“Where’s the shopping bag?”
“I haven’t got one,use your hat.”

“所有的孩子都拿我开玩笑，”小男孩哭着跟妈妈说：“他们说我长了一个大脑袋。”
“别听他们的，”他妈妈安慰说：“你的脑袋长得很漂亮。好了，别哭了，去商店买10磅土豆来。”
“购物袋在哪？”
“我没有购物袋，就用你的帽子吧。”

3、Friend for Dinner “Honey,” said the husband to his wife, “I invited a friend home for supper.” “What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, I haven’t been shopping, all the dishes are dirty, and I don’t feel like cooking a fancy meal!” “I know all that.” “Then why did you invite a friend for supper?” “Because the poor fool’s thinking about getting married.”

“亲爱的，”丈夫对妻子说：“我邀请了一位朋友回家吃晚饭。” 　　“什么?你疯了吗?我们的房子乱糟糟的，我很久没有买过东西回来了，所有的碗碟都是脏的，还有，我可不想做一餐累死人的晚饭。” 　　“这些我全都知道。” 　　“那你为什么还要邀请朋友回来吃晚饭?” 　　“因为那个可怜的笨蛋正考虑要结婚呢。”

二、英语搞笑故事推荐

1、At a jewelry store, a young man bought an expensive locket as a present for his girlfriend. “Shall I engrave her name on it?” the jeweler asked.

The customer thought for a moment, and then said, “No-engrave it ‘To my one and only love‘. That way, if we ever break up, I can use it again.”

在一家珠宝店里，一位年轻人买了一个贵重的小金盒作为送给女友的礼物。“要我把她的名字刻在上面吗?”珠宝商问道。

那名顾客想了一会儿，然后说道：“不–在上面刻‘给我唯一的爱’。这样，如果我们闹崩了，我还可以再用到它。”

2、Where is the father?
Two brothers were looking at some beautiful paintings.
“Look,” said the elder brother. “How nice these paintings are!”
“Yes,” said the younger, “but in all these paintings there is only the mother and the children. Where is the father?”
The elder brother thought for a moment and then explained, “Obviously he was painting the pictures.”

父亲在哪儿？
兄弟俩在看一些漂亮的油画。
“看，”哥哥说，“这些画多漂亮呀！”
“是啊，”弟弟说道，“可是在所有这些画中，只有妈妈和孩子。那爸爸去哪儿了呢？”
哥哥想了会儿，然后解释道：“很明显，他当时正在画这些画呗。”